I made this long Twilight summary a while back but I never shared the whole thing with you tumblr. I should probably point out that I’ve only seen 2 of the movies and not read any of the books so there might be 1 or 2 teensy errors….
conceal, don’t feel. don’t let them know.
- (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
- Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
- Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
- Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
- Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
- Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
- (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
- Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
- Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
- (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
- Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
- Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
- Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
- Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
- (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
- Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
- Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
- Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
- (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
Why can’t I have
I want this :l
Anonymous asked: how do you give a girl an orgasm?
i am laughing so hard omg i need more sleep
There should be a warning before something like this hits a dash so you’re not drinking or something when you first see it.
Birthday gig 🎉🎂🍸